On Shabbat

Despite the name of this blog, I'm not much of an actual Jewish girl.  I was born Jewish, I had a Bat Mitzvah, and I even had a "confirmation" when I was sixteen.  I taught Sunday school for a couple of years when I was in college --- I was assigned to third grade, because any class above that would have exceeded my knowledge of Hebrew and Judaism.

I'm not sure when I first started feeling uncomfortable in religious settings.  Maybe sometime after college?  Religious services started feeling less meaningful and more cultish.  The chanting, the conviction that improbable-sounding religious stories actually happened...it all felt strange.  Add to that the fact that my basic religious knowledge meant I couldn't fully participate in most services, and you've got a recipe for discomfort.

So I dialed back my participation in actual Jewish ritual.  I experienced a brief renewal in my spirituality and feelings towards Judaism after going on Birthright Israel in 2011, but my practices didn't change much.

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After moving to Baltimore, I have found myself inching into the Jewish scene here.  Seemingly every week, a different Jewish group hosts a young adults/professionals Shabbat that are either inexpensive, free, or potlucks.  I've gone to a bunch of these dinners, mainly because they are something to do and a good way to meet people.  I've met a handful of cool people through these Jewish events and I certainly can never have too many friends.

Plus, I think on some level I enjoy reconnecting a bit with my religion, even if I'm totally awkward at these events.  A couple of weeks ago, I tried to strike up a conversation around the table about recreational activities during a period during the ritual when (unbeknownst to me) we were all supposed to remain quiet.

Anyway, I was inspired to write this post after my experience with last night's Shabbat.  I have had an extremely stressful day at work, even though we only had a three-day week.  There are a ton of exciting things going on and I've had a few huge professional successes in the last month, but the next few weeks are going to make me want to pull my hair out.  As the workday wound to a close I started feeling that familiar tension in my chest --- that feeling of having too much to do and too many balls in the air.

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Then an unfamiliar feeling came over me --- one of impending relaxation and calm.  I think it came from the knowledge that I was taking a purposeful pause from work and life to go through the Shabbat ritual and have some kind of meal with other people.  For one of the first times in my life, I found myself looking forward to Shabbat.

I'd imagine I'd get the same kind of benefit from setting a fixed time to meditate and disconnect, but it was nice to feel it come from part of my religious heritage, even if I still struggle with the ritual and the theology.

I'm curious to hear about other weekly rituals that provide that sense of calm and focus.  What do you guys do for yourselves?

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

Hi everybody.  Thanks for the kind emails and messages while I've been away.  Here's a bit of an update for you:

Shortly after my last post, I was put on a trial team (my favorite type of assignment!!) for a case that was supposed to go to trial less than a month later.  As you can imagine, life got extremely hectic very quickly.  I don't like to post on the blog while on trial, because I have to assume:  1) opposing counsel is crazy and has researched everyone on our side; 2) they have found my blog; 3) every post I make during trial prep and trial is a window into how busy or not busy we are, which in turn is a window into our strategy.

The trial was grueling, but I did have a weekend or two during which I got to enjoy the city of Boston (where the trial was taking place).  Neptune's Oyster?  Holy geez, that place was incredible.  Plus, we were staying at the Ritz, so it's hard to be too miserable (even when facing down your third 20+ hour day in a row) when you can go "home" to a fluffy bed, a whirlpool bath, and free room service.

Still "trying" to lose the trial weight, but it was totally worth it.

Our trial concluded at the end of April (we won!!).  I made my way back home almost reluctantly.  Over the course of the last year or so, my six-year relationship, which had typically been very loving/functional/rewarding, had become difficult, rocky, and downright painful.  The relationship needed to end, which as you can imagine was an extremely hard and fraught decision to make after being with someone for so long and developing a shared future with that person.  I still struggle with whether this was the correct decision, and I don't really know what to do or how to act going forward, or whether to give in to the desire to try again, hoping that things might be different after the self-improvement work we have both done in the months of separation.

The closest I've ever come to posting my ex's picture on this blog.  (Incidentally, I TOTALLY recommend this bobblehead company if you are looking for an awesome gift for someone.  They were incredible to work with.)

Those of you who have ended long relationships with the person you thought was "The One*", how did you know it was time?  Did you ever try again with the same person?  How did that work out?  Was the other person able to change?  Were you?  Have you found new love since then?  How is it different?  Do you have some kind of clarity regarding whether you made the right or wrong decision in ending that previous relationship?  Basically, what do I need to hear, being in the place I am now?

*  I don't actually believe in the concept of "The One."  I don't think there is only one person who is the perfect end-all-be-all fit for us.  I think there are many people with whom any given person could have a happy and loving life.  I use "The One" here really to mean "[One of] The One[s]."

Despite the whirlwind incredible trial experience at my firm, I'd been feeling a growing dissatisfaction with the work since last summer.  See, I love trials.  Trials are the driving force that pumps my lifeblood and gives my work-life meaning.  And although my firm is notoriously awesome at giving attorneys trial experience (and indeed, I was on five trial teams, saw four jury selections, and three winning verdicts in my three years + one summer at the firm), the problem with a big firm is that you are never going to be the person giving the opening and closing argument in a big trial.  And even more, the hierarchical structure of a big firm means that for your first five or six years, you don't really get close to talking in court on a paying matter.  There's something about that process, in which the work you do is just pieces of a whole that were divided up and doled out by something else, that makes you start to atrophy in some ways.  You learn a TON by watching more experienced attorneys run these trial teams, but you start to lose that ability to see the whole forest, to think ten steps ahead, and to look at the bigger picture, because your more immediate job is on the smaller scale.

I have always wanted to be an Assistant U.S. Attorney ("AUSA").  It has been my dream job since at least the ninth grade --- or whenever I learned that the job existed.  AUSAs represent the United States, prosecuting federal criminals or defending U.S. agencies when they are sued.  AUSAs get to run their own cases, try their own trials, and enjoy all of the perks of federal employment.  These jobs are notoriously difficult to get, and for the past several years, a hiring freeze has been in place that made it nearly impossible to find an open position.  In fact, many districts began hiring Special AUSAs to work FOR FREE, and PEOPLE ARE STILL TAKING THOSE JOBS.

The hiring freeze lifted in December, and around February I started throwing out a few applications to various districts in which I could see myself living.  (Maryland, Virginia, Florida, Chicago, California...I almost threw my hat in the ring for the Virgin Islands but that just seemed way too extreme of a change.)  I didn't expect to get anything, since I'm still relatively junior and I lack some of the credentials I'm told are important for a position like this.

But sure enough, in March, I got an interview in Baltimore.  Everything about the position was perfect.  The position was in the civil division --- so I would get to practice the type of civil defense law I'd come to love at my firm (for example, civil division attorneys do a lot of medical malpractice defense and employment discrimination defense) --- but civil division attorneys are permitted to take small criminal cases in addition to their civil caseload, so I would have a taste of both types of law.  (Plus, criminal cases typically involve more court time than civil cases.)  The division was small, like my old firm, and filled with incredibly friendly and non-competitive people who loved that I bake pies and play poker.  It is close to D.C., so even though I would get the fresh start I craved in a new city with a lot going on within its borders, I would be close enough to my old town (~30 miles, or 50 minutes by car) that I would not have to say goodbye to any of my friends.

After three rounds of interviews, I was offered the job after a particularly brutal day during our trial.  My tears of frustration with the case turned into tears of gratitude and happiness that I'd had such an amazing experience at my firm, without which I surely could not have made this next step so soon, and that I would soon be starting a new adventure in my dream job.

I cleared my security check at the end of July, moved to Baltimore at the beginning of August, and now I'm starting a new chapter here.  Not only am I in a new city, making new friends and exploring a new life, but I've also said goodbye to my lavish law firm salary (this job was a 60% pay cut) and all of the associated luxuries.  I'm living in a house with two other girls now.  I have a huge living space to myself (I have my own floor of the house, along with my own bedroom, living room, and bathroom), but I'm sharing a kitchen and facing the fact that I have two mid-twenty-somethings roommates at a point in my life when I figured I would be married or engaged.  Ahhh, life, how funny you can be.  Luckily, my roommates (random craigslist people) are lovely and my house is comfortable, and it's only a fifteen-minute walk to work.  It is also only a fifteen minute walk from the new casino opening up in downtown Baltimore, which makes me sad to have my lush salary no longer.

But my new job has been incredible --- pretty much everything I hoped it could be --- which at the very least makes me feel validated in the choices I have made to get me to this point.

Anyway, there's a lot to share and a lot to write about.  I haven't figured out whether I want to continue writing or not, though; again, I must assume all of my opposing counsel have found this blog now that I'm the lead counsel (!!!) opposite them.  While I have not posted anything on here that is personally embarrassing or that I would not be happy to talk about in person, I have to rethink my online presence a bit.  Out of curiosity, are there any AUSAs or trial attorneys out there amongst my readers?  Do you have any thoughts on this subject?  Are any of you my opposing counsel?  :-D

I'm sorry to have left without a word so many months back.  There were so many changes in my life all at once, and some of them I'm sure you can understand I do not want to talk about in great detail on the internet.  My domain name comes up for renewal in a few months, so I guess I will make a decision about whether to continue by then, but in the meantime:  Hello, and I hope you are all doing well!

The Zone of All Probability

Have you ever had one of those days that is so horrible --- just one bad thing after another --- that you arrive at a point when you think that nothing worse could possibly happen?  And then something worse happens?

Have you ever felt your tether to your own tragic reality break at that point, not in the sense of having a nervous breakdown or anything, but such that you no longer feel any sadness, fear, anxiety, or any other negative emotion, neither at the wreckage of the day already laid waste in front of you nor the possibility of yet another bad thing improbably finding its way into your universe?  You go from panicked and depressed to completely calm in a blink.

I have days like that periodically, and I had one of them yesterday. I felt that little "snip" in my brain when my thoughts go from "ACK THIS IS A TERRIBLE DAY" to "Of course this other terrible thing has happened, how entertaining."

Every time that happens to me, I think about this passage from A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which just so perfectly captures that feeling:

I pull up to a light, next to a bunch of young black kids.* Maybe they’ll shoot me. I’m in the zone of all probability. I cannot be surprised. Earthquakes, locusts, poison rain would not impress me. Visits from God, unicorns, bat-people with torches and scepters–it’s all plausible. If these kids happen to be bad kids, and have guns, and want to shoot people like me, it will be me, the glass will break and the bullet will come through and I will not be surprised. With the bullet in my head, I will drive my car into a tree, and as I am waiting to be pulled from the wreck, nearly dead, I will not panic or yell. I will think only: Weird, this is exactly what I expected.

Here's to a new day.


*  ETA, in response comments expressing alarm at this passage: To be clear, this passage is a piece of literature.  In the context of the book, the passage is discussing completely crazy and improbable things happening.  As the author describes it, the likelihood of kids shooting him in the head just because they are black is crazy and improbable, and in the broader context of the book is not a statement on race (i.e., it is not a commentary that young black kids shoot white people), but is rather sort of a tongue-in-cheek jab at perceptions of race.  I encourage you to read more about the book, the author (who does an impressive amount of work with youth in under-served communities), or to read the book itself (not an affiliate link).  It is a fantastic piece of storytelling and one of my favorite books.  If you're upset (or not upset) by the passage, I encourage you to discuss it in the comments.  Hopefully folks who have actually read the book will chime in as well on either side of that spectrum.

Battling The Blahs

Hey everyone.  Sorry I've been MIA...I've been battling a serious case of the blahs.  I will return with outfit posts soon, but in the meantime, here are two of my favorite places to go to battle mild bouts of non-clinical depression:

Crossfit (or Exercise Generally)

One of my worst qualities as a human being is the fact that it is extremely easy for me to slip into complete physical inactivity.  I don't know how it happens; I will go from working out 3-5 times a week to ZERO for WEEKS.  However, I've noticed in the last few months that going more than two days without physical activity has a very dark effect on my mood.  It's wonderful to recognize this, as it's helped me both to keep a regular exercise schedule and to recognize the biological factors (i.e., lack of endorphins) that could be impacting my mood.  I like Crossfit, but I also try to bike or run if I don't feel like attending an exercise class.

Washington Humane Society

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There's something comforting about hanging out with animals, especially when you have zero responsibility for cleaning up after them and just get to participate in the fun stuff, like cuddles and ear scratches.  I found myself at the Washington Humane Society's Northeast DC outpost one day just to look at the animals (this location is convenient running distance from my house), and to my delight I discovered not only a very friendly staff that is happy to have you hang out with the pets even if you are not adopting (and will not judge you if you sit on the floor for an hour with two kittens falling asleep in your lap), but there is also a room in the shelter called "Kitty City" (pictured above) that is basically just a room full of cats.  You can walk into the room and just pet whatever cat comes up to you looking to be pet.  It is an amazing mood-booster.  (If you don't have a humane society near you but still want to help the pets, why not buy something for the Humane Society next time you are on Amazon?  Our DC humane society has an Amazon wish list, and your local one probably does, too.  I threw a $4 set of newborn kitten bottles in with my last order of poker chips.)


How do you like to fight the blues?  Where are your happy places?

Just Me?

"Normal People," I submit to you, are in fact Cylons.

OOTD: The Politics of Jeans Day

It's jeans day in our office today.

In this Outfit:

Style & Co. Blazer; Anthropologie Blazing Top; Sold Denim Jeans; Seychelles Code Pumps; Thrifted Necklace; Kate Spade Bangle; Thrifted Earrings

This may come as a surprise to those of you who have been with me for a while and have borne witness for my love of pushing the boundaries of business casual, but I actually HATE jeans days.  I feel flat-out inappropriate wearing jeans to the office, and at our firm so few of the partners participate that it almost feels like a trap.  Sure, we are allowed to wear jeans (and we donate money to a charity in exchange for the pleasure), but aren't we still being judged for dressing down?

A blazer will cure all ills.

The last time our firm had a jeans day (many months ago), I skipped it and wore business casual.  That didn't solve the problem, though, since I felt just about as weird being one of the few associates not wearing jeans as I would have felt running into a business casual partner while sporting my denim.  This time, I felt I had to participate since today's jeans day is raising funds for a road race I am helping to organize.

Also, these thrifted earrings are super fancy-looking.

A friend of mine at a different firm offered an intriguing comment on an associate's duty to participate in a jeans day:

Hardly any of the partners do it in my group either, but if all associates do it they can't judge you, which is my point.  So do your part for your fellow associates.  Some of them may be like me and it is the only day all month they don't hate.

I'd never thought about jeans day as a class solidarity type of thing, but her argument makes a lot of sense, and ultimately persuaded me to wear jeans today.  Along with most of the other associates.  And frankly, it does feel a bit like everyone who is wearing jeans is sharing a wink and a smile today.

It still feels a bit weird, but I'll admit that I am super freaking comfortable.

What do you guys think of jeans days at the office, if you have them?

(Also, I'm wearing my new Kate Spade bag for the first time today!  I LOVE it, although I will fully admit that it is kind of ridiculous and I don't know how much I will wear it.  Which, wonderfully, was the reason I passed on it the first time so I feel somewhat justified in my initial decision (thus wiping out two years of agony) and at the same time I am happy with my acquisition (which was sweetened by said agony that clearly I still hang onto on some level).  Also, it holds a LOT of stuff.)

Monday Link Roundup!

I notice a lot of my favorite blogs post weekly compilations of interesting links they've found around the internet.  It seems like a great idea to me, so why don't we give it a try just for today?

*  How can you tell if you are selling yourself short in the workplace?

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*  When is it time to walk away from an important relationship?

*  I love this outfit's combination of purple and yellow.  Somehow, she pulled it off without looking like a Muppet (see here)!

*  New study establishes that singing at the top of your lungs in the shower can be an effective treatment for mild down-in-the-dumps-ness.

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*  Eeep, a talking bunny that says the word "Mama"!  How is that possible??

*  OMG, I am absolutely drooling over this healthy dessert recipe.  Yes, please!

*  Some would say it's time to give in and dance.

Happy April 1st!  ;-)


(See also:  here at 1:52 ("2006 called; it wants its punchline back."))

I've been deleted! (a.k.a., a word novella on strict commenting policies, sponsored posts, disclosures, and discourse)

(Apologies in advance for writing you a novel.  tl;dr -- )

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"Wait a minute, my comment was there a minute ago..."

I refreshed the blog post I'd commented on a few moments before over at A Practical Wedding ("APW").  Sure enough, the comment I'd posted --- after thoughtfully wording my criticism in such a way as to be reasonable but still true to my thoughts --- had vanished.

(I'm not married, nor am I engaged, but it will be my five-year anniversary with my boyfriend on Sunday and without getting into too many details about conversations occurring in my private life I will admit to reading APW and sometimes looking at sparkly things or white things, because I am a gender-conforming, red-blooded woman over here.)

So, first I'm going to tell you what happened to me on this one specific blog (APW), and then I'm going to tell you why I think this stuff matters in a broader sense.

Some background:  The post I commented on was about a new initiative by one of APW's sponsors, called "Turtle Love Company" (TLC).  TLC sells vintage and vintage-y engagement rings, along with other types of jewelry.  They seem to be a big sponsor of APW as I see TLC-sponsored posts on the website frequently.  The new initiative was called a "Dynamic Pricing Experiment," in which TLC would start listing rings at their appraised value, and then lower the price if the ring did not sell.

Now, if you couldn't tell from the name and content of this blog, I love sales.  I am all about sales.  I know a sale when I see one.  In fact, sometimes I FEEL a sale BEFORE I see one, just getting random tinglings of my Jewish Girl-sense when I am in the proximity of a sale.

And this "Dynamic Pricing Experiment" thingamajigger sounded a lot like a sale.  Exactly like a sale.  Your standard, run-of-the-mill sale.  The complicated academic name struck me as inauthentic.  So I left these comments, which were deleted a few minutes after the most recent one:

I'd heard that the moderators at APW were sometimes trigger-happy when it came to removing perceived "negative" comments, but I never imagined that  a comment I perceived to be constructive, albeit not heaping with praise, would be deleted.  I truly thought these comments were respectful and posted with only good intentions.  After all, the original TLC post said:

"then don’t forget to come back here and tell Adrianne what you think! (I’m hoping your feedback will be more helpful than my ZOMGTHISISAMAZINGILOVESALES.)"

I mean, surely my comment counts as "feedback . . . more helpful than ZOMGTHISISAMAZINGILOVESALES," right?  So why didn't the APW moderators think so?

I left another comment asking why my comment got deleted, to which Meg (the creator of APW) commented, "If you have questions about our comment policy, feel free to email us directly.  We moderate comments based on tone."  I responded that my tone was intended to be thoughtful, albeit critical and....yep, the whole thread with Meg got deleted, too.

So I went over to APW's commenting policy and read it, and you know what I found that disturbed me greatly?

"Our sponsored and partner posts are paid content from a business we’ve consciously chosen to work with. Out of respect to the business that paid for a particular post, we reserve the right to remove comments that we don’t feel are in their best interest. These sponsors and partners are how we are able to stay online. If you want to ask us about our choice to work with someone, please send us an email. APW’s mission is to promote discussion on weddings and marriage, not on the business model that allows us to facilitate those conversations." (emphasis added)

WOAH.  As far as I can tell, "best interest" can have a very broad definition, can't it?  Is a potential customer's post that the name chosen to describe a "sale" not in the "best interest" of a sponsored company? Is the post of an unsatisfied customer that the merchandise she purchased was shoddy, not as advertised, or the like not in the "best interest" of the sponsor?  Where does the interest of the consumer fit into all of this?  As a consumer, I certainly would like to know if, when reading a post written by or for a sponsored company, the comments section is being whitewashed to feature only positive commentary, even if negative commentary exists.

I'd like to say that as far as TLC is concerned, I'm impressed with the response I've received from the company about this thus far.  (I've never purchased anything from them, but theoretically one day I may ptoo ptoo.)  I emailed Adrianne (a former lawyer, like me), the head of TLC to voice my concerns.  I received very thoughtful and respectful emails from her in response, explaining a bit more about the  "dynamic pricing experiment" thing (which, FYI, still sounds like a "sale" but I could be missing a subtlety) and also noting that that she did not have control over comments being deleted and the company does welcome feedback.  It's not always easy to hear criticism so I give Adrianne credit for her reaction here.

But I do think this issue goes beyond TLC and even beyond APW.  (I've taken a day to meditate on this and think it over, so in case you couldn't tell, you are getting a much different post today than you would have gotten if I'd posted after my negative interaction with Meg yesterday.)

1.  As consumers on the internet, I think it's important that we make ourselves aware of the way in which sponsored posts and reviews are presented on the websites we frequent.  Had I not read the commenting policy on APW, for example, I might not have realized that the APW moderators had such broad criteria for deleting comments on sponsored posts.  Now that I do know, I realize I cannot rely on any of the positive feedback generated about vendors in APW posts, since I have no idea how much negative feedback is being deleted.  I would be shocked if APW is the only website "protecting" their sponsors in this way.  While I would love to place all blame on the blog with restrictive commenting policies, we maintain responsibility as consumers to make informed purchases.  What I didn't fully realize until yesterday is that part of this process of informing ourselves must also include learning about the ways in which a given blog might misrepresent the public opinion of one of its sponsors.

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2.  As bloggers or publishers on the internet, we have an ethical responsibility to present as unbiased a view of "sponsored" material as possible.  I blame no blogger for wanting to feature sponsored material on her website, but with the power to promote comes the responsibility to promote responsibly.  We saw the dangers of comment over-moderation when the Anthroholic scam broke, years after it might have broken otherwise had it not been for the deletion of negative comments about Anthroholic on various Anthropologie-centric blogs, largely on her own.  For example, we have been engaging in a discussion on this blog about a blogger's responsibility in disclosing affiliate links.  My IRL-friend Michelle (who blogs herself over here) deals with FTC disclosures as part of her job and pointed out that disclosure requirements have become much more stringent this year, indicating that the FTC expects bloggers to be up-front about the way they handle sponsored content.  Disclosure of affiliate links is a separate but related issue, and I bring it up to indicate both that it's an important area for us bloggers to learn about, and that even the government has recognized the influence bloggers can have over the marketplace.  Again, with great power comes great responsibility.

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FWIW, even beyond government requirements, I truly believe we have a responsibility to be honest people. (Bias alert:  I have a deeply seeded expectation that decent human beings be honest with each other.  I was the type of kid who, in elementary school, skipped a question on a quiz if I accidentally saw someone else's answer to that question, even if I knew the answer myself.)  I'm sure you've noticed that I run some sponsored content on this blog --- almost entirely, if not entirely, reviews of products I have had a chance to test --- (and I've got another sponsored post coming up in the next week), but I want to make clear that I never delete comments on these (or any) type of posts and I encourage discussion in the comments sections of my posts, even if I think that discussion is unreasonable or if I disagree with it.  I have only ever deleted a small handful of comments in the years I have been writing this blog, and those comments were either explicitly racist, violent, or sexual [as in, sexually invasive/explicit/violent] comments.  And also spam.  I delete spam.

3.  As companies sponsoring blogs, you have the power to demand that the bloggers you sponsor maintain standards for public discourse and disclosures that you can respect.  As I mentioned in #1 above, it does you no favors as a company if the blog you pay to run posts about your services deletes any potentially negative commentary as a matter of policy.  Not only does it alienate potentially well-meaning commenters (like me), but it also undermines public trust in you as a company and as a selector of blogging partners.  I know that I, for one, will look at sponsored content on websites like APW differently now that I know that anything not in the "best interest" of the sponsor will be promptly wiped away, and I know that I will be exploring the commenting/sponsorship policies of other blogs I read to make sure I know who I need to be wary of.  As a company, your advertising dollars have power.  When it comes to disclosures and open discourse on the internet and other forms of social media, your interests are aligned with consumers and blog readers:  it is in the "best interest" of both of you (assuming you are a good company with a good product) and readers that the reader/consumer has accurate information.  Use your advertising dollars to demand that the blogs you sponsor uphold higher standards of discourse and disclosure.  If they won't, don't risk your brand's reputation on someone else's lack of integrity.

Okay, novel over.  Have you ever had a comment of yours deleted before?  Ever had a negative experience after paying for services you learned about in a sponsored post?  I'd love to hear your thoughts --- all of them.  Really.  (Just not the violent, racist, or sexually violative ones.)


[FYI:  I edited this post later on March 21 to fix a few typos and add some clarifying language.]

Friday Funday: A Non-Exhaustive List of Things that Disproportionately Piss Me Off

In general, I'd say I'm a pretty happy person. I like my life and my job, and I feel good about myself on the whole. I don't carry around a lot of anger towards people in my life. Instead, I prefer to find a way to forgive people for perceived or actual wrongs and move on with my day. I mostly believe that holding onto negative emotions hurts us more than it hurts the source of our anger, so why bother?

...with some exceptions.

For reasons I can't explain, I've noticed a few things in life that make me completely ragey. Blind with anger. These things evoke in me a fury completely untethered from the reality of the (small) offending slight.

What are these things, you ask?

1. The Security Guard at my Office Building Telling me to "Have a Good Night" Between 6:30pm and 8pm When I Am Only in the Lobby to Pick Up Dinner Before Going Back Up to My Office for Several More Hours of Work.

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Listen, ma'am, I know you mean well when you wish me a good night (which is why my anger is disproportionate -- see?). But there is nothing worse than hearing someone wish you a good night when you have many more hours of work ahead of you. That innocent greeting takes my focus away from reading case law and instead directs it to the comfy couch, quilt, and Netflix that I will NOT be enjoying tonight.

Even worse, half of the time when you wish me good night you can SEE the delivery guy with my dinner waiting in the lobby. And even more, you can SEE that I'm not even wearing a coat, nor am I carrying a purse. What kind of person steps into 20 degree weather to walk home without a jacket or a purse? Isn't it more likely that I am picking up the dinner you see waiting TWENTY FEET in front of you and then going back upstairs? ISN'T IT?!


2. Getting Too Many Sets of Utensils in My Delivery Order

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While we're on the subject of picking up food, you know what else gets my goat? Opening up my bag of delivery dinner --- which I ordered for MYSELF --- to find FOUR SETS OF UTENSILS. Excuuuuuuse me, Judgy McRestaurant, but the amount of food I ordered is perfectly reasonable for ONE PERSON to eat. Do I need you suggesting that I am actually trying to feed a small army? NO I DO NOT. Good DAY, sir.


3. People Who Put a Purse in the Empty Seat Next to Them on the Metro During Rush Hour

(source)

Dude. You know this train is going to get crowded and that eventually seats will run out and people will be standing. But you've apparently paid WMATA for a first-class metro seat today because you have allocated a double-wide area for yourself by placing your stuff on the seat next to you. I'm not talking about the people who have a legitimate overload of stuff or small children and need extra space.

I'm talking about YOU, who has a small extra bag, which is probably carrying a bunch of lollipops you stole from babies because YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON. Put your bag in your lap! Put your bag in your lap, mofo! I want you to know that I take special joy in asking you obnoxiously, "IS THIS SEAT TAKEN, ASSHOLE?" (give or take) because I know it's NOT and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you get away with this tomfoolery. I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK. DO YOU HEAR ME??


4. People Who Stand on the Left Side of an Escalator

(source)

STAND TO THE RIGHT. STAND TO THE RIGHT. STAND TO THE GEE-DEE RIGHT FOR PETE'S SAKE. I'm glad you have all the time in the world to get to where you're going but some of us have actual stuff to get done today that doesn't involve looking at your butt from further down on the escalator.


5. People Who Call Me "Babe"

(source)

I'm not your babe. I don't plan to be your babe. In fact, I don't think I'm ANYONE'S babe. I hate that patronizing, demeaning nickname and every time I so much as hear it I experience a full-body cringe. When someone says it TO ME I immediately want to take a shower and scrub the word off of me. THE ONLY PERSON ALLOWED TO CALL ME BABE IS THE PERSON PAYING OFF ALL OF MY STUDENT LOANS. Oh, wait, am I hearing correctly that such person is NOBODY? Oh, yes, great, then NOBODY.


6. People Who Touch Me in Lieu of Saying Hello

(source)

While we're on the subject of people violating my autonomy with over-familiarity, let's just err on the side of DON'T TOUCH ME, okay? I don't want a backrub, I don't like it when you want to squeeze my shoulders to say hello, just SAY HELLO VERBALLY. USE YOUR WORDS like a normal person. I have been touched in worse ways against my will and you imposing your creepy shoulder squeezing on me just brings it all rushing back. Just pretend we are in kindergarten and KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!

My shoulders were not tense a minute ago, buddy. Your forced backrub: DO NOT WANT.

*~*~*~*

...I'm sure I'm forgetting some things. (Heck, I only had three things in mind when I started this post.) What are the things that drive you up a wall even though you know they probably shouldn't?

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Happy New Year!

Welcome to 2013, e-Friends! How did you ring in the New Year? My boyfriend and I spent the first few moments of 2013 watching fireworks on the Vegas strip with 1.2 million of our closest friends:
 

 

 
Twenty-twelve was a wonderful year for me. I found stability in a job I love, a relationship I love, and a circle of family and friends I love. I am happy in my life and almost completely happy with myself as a person. Starting the new year in my favorite U.S. city is a promising way to begin the next twelve months. I think it will be an exciting year!
 

Vegas in a nutshell: The real and the fake side by side.

 
Incidentally, the one thing you absolutely need to know about going to Las Vegas? Never let taxi drivers take you on the highway. Seriously. It costs $10 more every time, which is why they love to jump on the highway, so any time you go anywhere in a cab make sure you tell your driver, "Don't take the highway," even if you think it is totally obvious that he should not take the highway.
 
So there you go, I just saved you a bunch of money. Happy New Year to you! (I wasn't sure where else to fit that travel tip so you'll just have to excuse the non-sequitur.)
 
Did you make any New Year's resolutions this year? I didn't resolve anything specific, although I continue to stumble generally towards healthier eating/living and more responsible spending.
 

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Financial Update

Well, we're almost twelve hours into the supposed End of the World here in EST and buildings still appear to be standing and nobody I know* has been raptured, so I suppose the world will continue as usual.

The genius status update of one of my friends.  Why didn't I think of this?

*  Admittedly, the portion of the population least likely to be taken up in the rapture.

Since many of you were interested in following my progress on the student loan front, I think we're long overdue for a bit of a financial/loan update.


Background:

As you may recall, back in May I posted about my commitment to redirect my financial priorities and more quickly repay my student loans.  The plan utilized Dave Ramsey's "Snowball Method" of debt repayment, in which you pay the minimum payments on all of your loans except the smallest, which you pay off with all of your remaining money until it's gone.  Then you roll that minimum payment into a "snowball" payment, which you put towards the next-smallest loan, and so on.

I also put myself on a $100/week budget for food, clothes, and other expenses.


Changes:

• No more debt snowball.  I met with a financial adviser in the fall.  I brought him a spreadsheet of my loan amounts and interest rates, and he almost laughed me out the door when I told him about the snowball method.  Although I understood that it was not the most mathematically optimal way to pay off loans, I appreciated the psychological benefit of seeing quick results associated with faster repayments.  However, the financial adviser actually calculated the amount of money I pay in interest per year towards my largest highest-interest loan, and it came out to $3,600.  $3,600 every year I let that thing sit.  I realized that even with a few shopping sprees that might be associated with being demoralized from paying down a huge loan for ten months, I still would not spend $3,600.  So I switched gears.  I am now paying off my highest interest-rate loans first.

• The $100 budget is not working so well.  I have not yet figured out how I'm going to change this budget, but I haven't been sticking to it and need to revise the plan somehow.  I'm thinking of making it so that weekly groceries do not come out of the $100?  Also, I may simply institute a "one in, one out" policy in my closet, since despite a recent closet purge I have once again managed to cram the thing full of stuff.  Vacations are another story; the curse and the luxury of my paycheck is that I don't actually need to save up for vacations.  Although I recognize it is a good habit to save for vacations, I also recognize that I won't be able to take totally spur-of-the-moment and unencumbered-by-kids vacations forever, so I'm okay with enjoying that particular class of spontaneity while I have it.

Progress:

Check it out:

Heck yeah!

As of today, I have now fully paid three of my student loans, plus one of my familial loans.  Two of them are lower-interest loans (pictured above), one is one of my two highest-interest (more than 7%) loans, and the family loan had 0% interest but a fixed repayment plan. 

Man, it felt great to get this letter.

We just received our annual bonuses at the firm today, and I put the money towards knocking out my baby high-interest loan and taking a chunk out of the big one.  The big one is my next target, and with my loan payment next month, it will drop into the next-lower 10k range.  After a year or so of payments on the big one, I will have taken care of the two loans with the highest interest rates, and will move on to my loans with ~7% interest rates.

I have also reduced my total student loan debt by about 15%.

It feels good to take a minute to appreciate the progress I have made so far.  It hasn't been easy to watch so much of my pay disappear into loans each month---this month's loan payment basically felt like pushing a decent used car off a cliff---but I can see progress and I feel motivated to continue.  Once the holidays are over and I get back into a lower spending bracket again, things will only move faster.

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Things I Love About Being a Lawyer

What's better than waking up on Monday to a beautiful, warm autumn day?  Not having to go to work on a beautiful, warm autumn day, of course!  It's veteran's day here in the U.S. and I am . . .

. . . at work.

We don't actually get many real "holidays" as junior associates at a big law firm.  Regardless of whether the government is closed, there is still work to do and still hours to be billed.  So I figured I'd spend a bit of time reflecting on the reasons why I love my job despite the fact that my three-day weekends are few and far between.

• My work is usually intellectually challenging.  It took seventeen twenty years of education and one two-day professional examination to reach the point where I was even qualified to take this job.  Because of the caliber of my law firm, we often get the types of cases and legal questions that are complicated, difficult, or downright intractable.  This means that very little of my work is routine.  While this can make my day-to-day tasks difficult, it also provides a great sense of accomplishment once problems are solved.


• (Some) freedom to follow my whims.  A lot of times, I have some degree of control over my moment-to-moment workload.  Although I don't set many of my own deadlines, I do get to decide how to plan out my day with these deadlines in mind.  If I don't feel like researching something?  I can take a stab at drafting that motion for summary judgment.  Writer's block?  Why not read a few cases or depositions?  Don't feel like reading or writing?  I'll diddle around on powerpoint for a bit and work my creative muscles.  I love being able to jump from task to task, seeking respite from one type of activity by utilizing a different area of my brain.


• The stakes are high, but it's all just money in the end.  I love the fact that the cases I work on are very important to our clients (and in some cases to the legal community for the value of precedent), but generally boil down to money.  Nobody is dying or going to jail if I have a bad day.


• My office is wonderful.  I don't know too many people who enjoy the people they work with or their office environment as much as I do.  I feel very lucky to have great coworkers, great bosses, and a lovely space in which to work.


• I'm fulfilling my childhood dream.  Sure, most kids had more fun childhood career fantasies, but I have wanted to be a lawyer since the third grade.  It feels good to actually be an Esquire!

And, of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the business casual dress code.

In this Outfit:

Madewell Dress (similar on sale at Madewell, 25% off $150+ with code WOOHOO)

Anthropologie Shadowsleeve Cardigan (similar at Old Navy for $17 + 20% off)

Kate Spade Studs (similar in shape, similar in color, similar not by Kate Spade for $16)

Anthropologie Evolution Ball Necklace ($20 here) (it feels as testicular as it looks, I assure you) (also, I had to go through several damaged necklaces in the store before I found a good one, suggesting perhaps that quality and durability is somewhat lacking?)

Ann Taylor Ring from Gold Stacked Ring Set (here)

Jessica Simpson Minna Wedge (9.5 -- went up half a size) (here in other colors or here on sale in limited sizes)

Marc by Marc Jacobs Marci Watch (on sale here for $150 -- only two left)

I "bought" this watch with Amazon credit card rewards points!

So, tell me about your jobs!  What do you do?  Do you like it?  Are you doing what you thought you would be doing at this age?  Bonus points if you have the day off today!

On Discussing the Election

It seems trivial to post an outfit the day after election day.  Although I feel a great deal of relief and enthusiasm for the four years to come, I remember how I felt around this time in 2004:  crushed, afraid, demoralized, rejected, angry.  If you are even the slightest bit political, there is no worse feeling than seeing a candidate you distrust or think is bad for the country be reelected.  After George W. was put back in office in 2004, I could barely look at Facebook because the celebration of my Republican friends felt like a personal insult.

So, while I am thrilled, I also know how painful this day is for those of you who were hoping for a different outcome.  Let's all try to be a civil as possible with each other today (and for the next four years), shall we?

Below, I'm compiling a bunch of interesting links and photos to contribute to your discussions of the election today, to the extent you have them.  Let me know what you think, and if you have anything to add please leave links in the comments!


Five-thirty-eight.  No discussion of the election is complete without understanding Nate Silver, statistical whiz kid.  Silver correctly predicted the 2008 presidential election (49/50 states correct), the 2010 midterm election, and the 2012 presidential election (50/50 states correct).  In fact, he is so eerily dead-on that the site, Is Nate Silver A Witch? has already cropped up.

Source.

Even when the Gallup Poll had Romney taking a lead, Silver explained why Gallup would be proven wrong.

Strategy discussions.  It's interesting to read Democratic and Republican takes on why this election turned out the way it did.  My favorite theory is that these results were a repudiation of the Republican strategy to block Obama's initiatives for their own political gain.  Of course, Forbes would tell you that we've all just decisively placed ourselves on the path to ruin.  Ultimately, this election belonged to women and Hispanic voters, in my opinion, whose records demonstrated that Republicans are going to have to recraft their messages on immigration and women's rights if they hope to take back power.  Relying largely on white men just didn't cut it this time.


The Electoral College.  Obama's narrow win in the popular vote draws attention to the role the electoral college plays in our voting system.  How much do you know about the electoral college?  I thought this video, which displays the size of the states in the Union relative to their status as swing states influential to the electoral college was fascinating and was a very quick watch.  It does a good job of illustrating the practical impact of swing states and the electoral college on election spending:

  The Amazing Morphing Campaign Money Map from NPR on Vimeo.

Amazing Voting Stories.  If you want to stay completely nonpartisan in your conversations today, it's a good idea to focus on the importance of voting rather than the outcome of the election.  I enjoyed reading stories about voters overcoming the odds, like this woman who voted while in labor.  Her contractions started at 3am but she didn't want to miss her first presidential election, so she waited to go to the hospital until she could make it to the polls.  By the time she got there, her contractions were five minutes apart!


Voter referendums.  Marijuana legalization, gay marriage approval --- lots of amazing things happening in states this year, too!  Admittedly, these are not nonpartisan issues, but they make for interesting discussion.  I read one article that referred to the marijuana legislation in Colorado as "end[ing] marijuana prohibition."  Could marijuana become the next alcohol?  And, while not a voter referendum, three cheers to Tammy Baldwin, America's first openly gay Senator.  Progress!


Nonsequitors.  A few random LOLs:

Source.

Voting statistics displayed with fast food.

What do you think of this old anti-women's suffrage pamphlet?

And don't forget...this election is probably not worth losing friends over.  Gala Darling wrote an article about how Mercury being in retrograde for the next week means that all of us will be less precise with our language and more prone to miscommunications.  Although I don't put much stock in astrology, I don't think it could hurt to be extra patient with friends on both sides of the aisle this week.

30% off at Kate Spade!

In case your entire RSS feed has not already told you this, Kate Spade is having a 30% off Friends & Family sale (in stores and online, although not in outlets) this weekend!  Use code F12FFUS.  (And don't forget to sign up for eBates for an extra 3.5% cash back.)

The sale is good for both full-price and sale merchandise.  Incidentally, if you've been thinking about taking the plunge and getting one of Kate Spade's famous book clutches, now is the time because they never, EVER go on sale.  At least, they haven't in the last two years that I've been watching them.

The Pride and Prejudice book clutch I got during a prior F&F sale (here, now $228) (see full outfit entry here)

I mentioned that I've been faltering with my budgeting lately, and I just could not resist indulging in this sale.*  Anyone have some self-talk strategies for situations like this?  (Really, my biggest problem lately has been violating my own rule and clicking on links.)  My financial/budget situation is somewhat unmotivating in that I can AFFORD to buy purses at Kate Spade once in a while, and I work hard enough (and have zero-enough kids) that I feel like I want to sometimes just stupidly enjoy my money, and it only means my loans may take another quarter-month to pay off.  (Those quarter-months, of course, add up.)  I need to refocus and keep my eyes on the prize:  full repayment within four years!

I know, I know, #firstworldproblems.

*  I will admit to having a special bee in my bonnet WRT Kate Spade.  I passed up the Typewriter Clyde (pictured at right) in the F&F sale two years ago, even though it was reduced down to just under $200, because the bag seemed a bit too kitchy for daily use.  I have regretted that decision consistently since that day, and now that bag doesn't sell for less than $450 on eBay...and it only appears once a month!  The sting of that regret is still strong and perhaps biases me towards buying Kate Spade things when in doubt. :-(


Anyway, because I know you want to know, here's what I bought:

1.  Kate Spade Baxter Street Priscilla (now $140 here)
2.  Kate Spade Wordsmith Dictionary Clutch (now $250 here)
3.  Kate Spade Desert Stone Bangle (now $27)
4.  Kate Spade Doodles Pencil Necklace (also comes in purple and green) (now $38, here)

Any fun weekend plans?  Is it as (relatively) warm where you are as it is in DC?

(PS:  Thank you for all of the advice on my haircut...the appointment is Thursday, so if you happen to stumble across any photos of short haircuts you think I should see, please feel free to leave them in the comments!)

Financial Update

It has been EXACTLY three months since I told you all about my relatively ambitious plan to focus my financial efforts on paying off my undergrad, grad, and law school loans as quickly as possible (here). This seems like as good a time as any to update you guys on my progress.

Yesterday, almost as if in honor of my three-month anniversary on this project, I finally paid off my first loan (from way back in December 2003, i.e., second semester freshman year).

(For those reading closely and wondering about n.5, I called customer service about this as well and apparently they do NOT prorate custom payments across all loans in the group...just all the loans you see above...namely, one.  So, in other words, it's a terrible footnote.)

As you can see, I was heartbreakingly close to paying this guy off last month, as I only had $53.68 left to pay this month. I easily cleared that hurdle with my snowball payment this month. I actually initially thought I'd be able to pay off my SECOND smallest loan this month, too...

(The number you see highlighted next to "calculator" represents the amount of money available to pay off loans)

But then I realized that I had TOO much money in my checking account because of a work-related reimbursement that I had not yet sent to my credit card company. But I have less than $1,000 left on this second loan and I am optimistic that I will knock this one out next month!

Here's a brief description of the way I've been organizing my payments, for those who are interested in the mechanics:

• I get two paychecks each month. The last paycheck of the month covers rent and my credit card.


• Note that I am barely charging anything to my credit card anymore; I use it for work-related reimburseable expenses and then periodically out of convenience, but I have almost entirely switched to a cash-budget.


• When I do make a credit card purchase for personal reasons, ideally I set aside that amount of cash to ensure I stick to my $100/week budget.


• After my mid-month paycheck clears, I make my loan payments.


• I organized all of my loan providers into a spreadsheet containing the original loan amount, payoff balances, interest rates, website to make payments, user names, and passwords. I go down the list making minimum payments, saving my smallest loan for last.


• As I go, I subtract these payments from my current bank balance (I also subtract two weeks' of allowance and my rent from this balance. You may notice that I accoun for rent twice --- just to be safe and to provide a small amount of cushion for error once a month).


• By the time I get to my smallest loan into which I'm dumping all my leftover money, I have a figure that tells me exactly how much leftover money I have to spend this month. That's the amount I put towards my smallest loan.

So far, I've been pretty good about sticking to my budget, although admittedly this month I have not been keeping very good track of things. I haven't been shopping since May and I can't recall the last time I bought an item of clothing for myself (probably around May as well). I keep reminding myself that I truly do have more than enough clothes at my disposal and it has gotten much easier to resist that initial temptation to click "submit" when shopping online. The fact that I haven't bought anything for a while has made it easier to resist impulse buys. I did buy an iPad keyboard last week that I did not properly budget for, but this is still a huge improvement over my prior spending habits.

Finally paying off my first loan has given me a nice little boost of motivation, though; my desire to stick to my weekly budget feels renewed!

FWIW, I'm very surprised at how long it took me to finally pay off this loan (which was less than $3,000 to start). I am sure I've spent only slightly smaller sums some months between shopping and going out, so I did not think it would be essentially three months before I could knock out my first loan. This has definitely opened my eyes to how important it is to keep an eye on your money and, as Dave Ramsey says, to TELL it where to go...otherwise it has a way of just...leaving.

Next stop, loan number two! Watch your back, Firstmark, because I am COMING for you, and it will NOT take me another three months.

Improving Your Writing with Grammar

The good things about being flooded with work, when it's intellectually stimulating and in my area of interest, are* that I find myself gloriously busy and productive at work.  I love the feeling of getting to work and wasting little time, moving from a writing assignment to a meeting to a research project to picking apart a witness's** weaknesses based on his or her prior testimony.  When busy, especially when working on cases set for trial, I feel like I function at 110% or more.  I come home feeling tired but satisfied from working late but also working on matters I find challenging and interesting.

The bad thing, of course, is that it leaves me with very little creative energy to spend on my other life pursuits.  And I can't talk about the details of my job publically because for one most of the good stuff is confidential and for two I will not be one of those people who talks about work on a blog she knows some of her coworkers read.  (With one notable exception for a funny story.)

I've been doing a lot of writing -- and proofreading -- lately, which has prompted me to think about various ways to improve the strength of one's written work.  A few of my most-used tips are below and I would love to hear how you make your writing stronger in the comments section!

(Source.)

1.  Learn to Identify and Eliminate Your Use of the Passive Voice
The passive voice is a sentence formulation in which the object of the sentence becomes the subject.  For example, The witness was interviewed by the first-year associate.  This is a bad sentence.  It's clumsy and roundabout and uses unnecessary words.  A critic of the passive voice explained its weakness as follows:

Active voice makes subjects do something (to something); passive voice permits subjects to have something done to them (by someone or something). Some argue that active voice is more muscular, direct, and succinct, passive voice flabbier, more indirect, and wordier. If you want your words to seem impersonal, indirect, and noncommittal, passive is the choice, but otherwise, active voice is almost invariably likely to prove more effective.

(Wikipedia, supposedly from the Columbia Guide to Standard American English.)

You can often tell when someone is using passive voice by looking for "was"'s and "is"s.  When possible, rewrite the passive voice into an active voice by restructuring the sentence and switching the subject and object.  For example, The first-year associate interviewed the witness.  Ahh, better, no?

(Source.)  Don't confuse Finn with your vagueness.

2.  Reduce the Use of Vague Pronouns
Pronouns are words that replace more specific nouns.  I find that I am very prone to overuse pronouns, which makes my sentences vague to anyone who does not live inside my head.  For example, Ted interviewed Paul about the event.  He said it went very well.  This may be too over-the-top of an example, but you can see how the use of pronouns "he" and "it" confuses what I'm trying to say.  Lately I have attempted to replace pronouns with more specific nouns and I believe it has greatly improved my writing.  For example, Ted interviewed Paul about the event. Ted said the interview went very well.  (See, these more specific nouns may have changed the way you read the sentence!)

3.  Shorten Your Sentences
Almost every sentence could stand to be shorter.  After you finish writing something, go back through it and try to eliminate some of the words that you don't need.  It will sharpen up your writing and make it easier for others to read what you write.  If others can read your writing with ease, then they are more likely to understand your point.  That's the main object of writing in the first place.

(Source.)

4.  Know Your Grammatical Rules
I know that sometimes the rules of grammar can seem never-ending.  For practical purposes, they are.  However, there are a few very common rules that people break all the time.  These are a few of my own pet peeves:

• Do not split infinitives.  An infinitive is a verb with "to" in front of it.  E.g., "to try", "to cross-examine."  Whenever you use an infinitive, you cannot put any words in between the "to" and the verb.  "To vehemently try" and "to brutally cross-examine" are wrong.  Instead, use "to try vehemently" or "to cross-examine brutally."
• Who or whom?  I read a good rule recently:  "Who" should be used where it could replace "he," while "whom" should be used were it could replace "him."  For example, "Who/whom ate the last piece of cookie dough?"  You could also say, "Did he eat the last piece of cookie dough?"  Therefore, you would use "Who."  In the case of "Who/whom are you taking to the court?" You would also say, "Are you taking him to the court?"  Therefore, the sentence would read, "Whom are you taking to court?"  (Source.)
• Read every TheOatmeal poster about grammar.  Seriously.  They are helpful.  (When to use "i.e.") (how to use a semicolon) (words you need to stop misspelling) (how to use an apostrophe).
• It's could have, would have, should have, etc.  NOT could of, would of, should of.
• Its v. It's.  This is covered in "how to use an apostrophe," but it deserves to be pulled out and highlighted.  Use "its" to indicate possession.  For example, Did you get the dog its water?  The water belongs to the dog, so we use "its."  On the contrary, It's so hot out here that the dog will need water.  There we are trying to say "IT IS so hot out here...".  When you want to say "it is," that's a conjunction and you use "it's."

That's all I've got for today!  I know I'm missing things, so tell me:  what are your grammatical hang-ups?

* Edit:  Ironically, this sentence orginally contained a grammatical error that I did not include in my list of grammatical rules:  subject-verb agreement.***  Subject-verb agreement requires that the subject of your sentence agree with the verb of your sentence (generally in terms of plurality).  The sentence orginally said:  "The good things about being flooded with work, when it's intellectually stimulating and in my area of interest, is that I find myself gloriously busy and productive at work."  The subject of that sentence was "things" (plural) and the verb was "is" (singular).  It should have been "things" (plural) and "are" (plural).  I find I am most prone to this error when I edit some of the words in my sentences and forget to check the rest of the sentence!

** Ack, another error (and an object lesson in more carefully proofreading posts about grammar). This sentence originally and incorrectly read "a witnesses' weaknesses".  I meant to refer to the multiple weaknesses of a singular witness.  Instead I used the plural word for witness.  As DebEditor thoughtfully pointed out in the comments, it should either be "a witness's weaknesses" or "a witness' weaknesses".  Thank you Deb!

*** This reminds me to mention verb tense agreement, which is another grammatical pet peeve of mine.  If you use multiple verbs in a sentence, they should all be in the same tense.  For example, it is wrong to say, "I am most prone to this error when I edited some of the words in my sentences and have forgotten to check the rest of the sentence!"  That sentence uses three different verb tenses.  I need to pick one.  "I am most prone...I edit...and forget..."; "I was most prone...I edited...and forgot..."; "I have been most prone...I have edited...and have forgotten".