Saturday, January 18, 2014

Online Dating, Pickup Artistry, and an offer from Match.com

This is a sponsored post.

I know very few people who have a "meh" attitude towards online dating.  In my experience, you are either pro or VERY con.

I am currently not on the market, but back in the day when I was, I maintained a free online dating account at (where else?) Jdate.com.  (Hey, I AM a Jewish Girl.)  I thought online dating was a nice way to supplement my social schedule.  Have some dates with guys met at parties, have some dates with guys met online.  Online dating for women is a pretty decent proposition, actually:  insist your dates pay for your drink or dinner, and at worst you have a funny/awkward story to tell at the end of the night.  Plus, based on what my Jdates seemed to tell me, 90% of women who date online are psychotic, so if you are normal, your dates will immediately be impressed and interested.

True story:  for a while there, I studied pick-up artistry!  This was around the time the reality show The Pickup Artist aired on VH1.  Do you remember that show?  It was about a bunch of professional pick-up artists who taught nerds how to become cool and intriguing to women.


I LOVED that show, mostly because the method advertised was so manipulative but seemed SO effective.  I wanted to learn more about it so that I would know when someone was using those methods on me, and in fact a month or two later someone tried to pick me up according to that strategy and I was able to see it coming and bust them on it!  (True caveat:  I was on a Jdate with someone else at the time the pick-up artist tried to pick me up!)

Part of pick-up artistry is a step called "demonstrating higher value" (a "DHV," for short).  In this stage, you do some kind of trick or tell some kind of story to establish that you are interesting and worth your target's time.  Here's one of the best DHVs I learned, which I still pull out from time to time whenever cocktail parties get too dull:

  • Start with some kind of story about how mind-reading isn't all that difficult, it's just about tapping into the common consciousness.  I like to cite a study I once read about in undergrad that found that people completed yesterday's crossword puzzle significantly faster than today's, and the theory behind that was that the answers to yesterday's puzzle were floating in the universe for people to access.
  • Tell your target that you think they could read your mind, too.  If you're on a date and you like the person, maybe add something about how you feel a connection to your date that you think they might be able to get in your head better than others.
  • Tell your target that you are going to write down a number.  Write down the number "7" on a piece of paper and fold it up.  Do NOT show this number to your target or let them see what you wrote.
  • Tell your target to clear their mind and after you give them the prompt just to say the very first number that comes into his/her head.  Then say to your target, "Pick the first number that you can think of between one and ten.  GO."  The key is to do this quickly so that your target goes with their first instinct.  
  • 70% of the time, people will pick 7.  You can increase their likelihood of picking seven by using hand gestures when you tell your target to pick a number between one and ten.  Imagine a number line in front of you that goes from one to ten.  When you say "one," gesture with your hand where the number one would fall, and when you say the word "ten," gesture with your hand where the number ten would fall.  When you say "GO", gesture with your hand where seven would fall.
  • After the person guesses seven, hand them the piece of paper with the number "7" written on it.  Bask in the glow of how awesome you are.
  • If the person doesn't guess seven, run.*
*  I haven't found a smooth way to recover when this trick fails.


Now get out there and pick up some people!

Onto the sponsored stuff.  Here's what Match.Com wants you to know:
  • Match.com's peak season, the site's busiest time of year, kicked off New Year's Day and spans all the way through Valentine's Day, where Match will see a 25-30% increase in registrations to the site. 


  • Why the rush to log in online in the new year?  In a recent poll, Match.com found that 51% of singles' New Year's resolutions will be to socialize more and focus on finding that special someone, making the desire to connect with someone a driving force for singles' to get online after the holidays. 

  • To get you online during prime time, Match.com is offering a 3-days free "date pass" for singles! Simply log on to claim your 3-days free offer. 

  • Who knows, you could get lucky in love like this Match.com couple— have you seen their proposal


Match.com sponsored this post.  I received monetary compensation in exchange for publishing this.  I'm totally gonna use that sweet dough to pay for the speeding ticket I think I got yesterday.  Damn traffic cameras.

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