Tuesday, November 26, 2013

And the calendar winner is...


Congrats, Dee!  I will email you to coordinate getting you your delicious calendar filled with sweet, sweet, circumcised loving.

For those who did not catch the contest, I asked everyone to post their best "dating a Jewish guy" story.  Here are a few notable examples:

Funniest story, eh? Here's one with details slightly altered to protect the guilty.
In 2002, when I was 21, I spent a few weeks in Capetown, South Africa. I decided to take a weekend to see Johannesburg, and my parents mentioned we had some old family friends there, so I reached out. They were thrilled to hear from me, invited me to stay with them, and asked if I would like a "nice young man to show me the sites" on Sunday. Who wouldn't take up that offer??
Naturally, I spend the next week spinning castles in the air about my nice Jewish South African boy. We will fall madly in love and he will move with me to America and utterly charm everyone. We will marry and have perfect children and spend every winter for the rest of our lives visiting the grandparents back in South Africa. They probably own a vineyard or something.
So I arrive in Johannesburg Friday, everything is lovely, and I am told "Yair" will pick me up from breakfast Sunday morning. Just as I'm finishing my eggs, it is mentioned that Yair is visually impaired - a blind blind date. I'm a little curious as to how a blind guy is going to show me the sites, but hey. Yair shows up, and it turns out that while legally blind, he can find his way around just fine. His glasses make it a little hard to see his face, but he's not unattractive, and has an accent, so I'm keeping an open mind here.
We have a fine day - no big sparks, but he's enjoyable company and very Nice, in a very Jewish sort of way :). A few hours into it, I comment on the fact that he has an Israeli name, and ask if his parents are Israeli. He says, "I was actually born in Israel - my family moved here in 1972 when I was 12." I do some quick mental math and realize that Yair is 42. Which I guess is "young" to my 70-year-old hosts, but remember, I'm 21. I freak out - and suddenly I'm very grateful my blind date is blind. We parted graciously, but I decided not to take him up on his offer to be penpals.
Ever since, I always ask ages when my relatives set me up...

Oh, and my funniest dating story. I met my husband during Oneg (but neither of us usually goes to these things, so talk about serendipity) and he picked me up telling me a story about manscaping.

Once upon a time I met a nice Jewish boy who just so happened to be a bad boy too. I myself am a Central American with a major jewfetish. I'm ready to convert and everything. I have one story that just goes to prove how incredibly Jewish this boy was. One night I met up my nice Jewish boy at his house and he is just dead set on getting his ears pierced. I look up a few tattoo shops who also do piercings but they're all too pricey for him. So he asks his mother, of course. She recommends Claire's, a store in the mall meant for little girls, because it's cheaper. Well as you can guess I walked out of Claire's hand in hand with my nice Jewish "bad boy" hold his pink Claire's bag with his ear cleaning solution. If that isn't a nice Jewish boy I don't know what is.

while I haven't dated a nice Jewish guy myself, my friend has and he wore a yamaka every. single. day. Never saw him without it. I was so fixated on what he might be hiding under there (bald spot? weird head lump?) that one day I grabbed it and threw it across the room. It was just a normal head of hair. Everyone was appalled by my behavior.
True story.

I have yet to find a Jewish Guy that'll date a gentile, but I'm trying. I had boyfriend that everyone thought was Jewish, and when I brought him home my grandmother, a devout Catholic, was not pleased. I got an earful that night.

For those who did not win their own calendar, you can purchase your own here.  Also, if you're interested in more Nice Jewish Products, check out these "Nice Jewish Shirts" (not affiliated with the Nice Jewish Guys calendar), which were created by a couple of LA-based Jewish comedians/graphic artists.  Blog readers will get $10 off orders of $50 or more with code NICEJEWISHGIRL, good until next Thursday, December 5.

Go forth and support the tribe!  May our consumer dollars be as numerous as the stars in the sky!

Friday, November 15, 2013

Friday Funday: Nice Jewish Guys Calendar Review and Giveaway!

I get a decent number of emails each week from advertisers asking me to blog about their website or their product.  Almost all of these requests I turn down.  (See, e.g., a series of websites offering me free money to buy whatever I wanted, but with absolutely horrific clothing and jewelry for sale, including items with names resembling, "Rasta harem dropcrotch pant crop hippie boho patterned bottoms.")  Some of these requests, I wish I'd turned down.  (I'm currently staring at a packet of gummy vitamins (I love gummy vitamins) that, based on the information on the package, I fear will give me explosive poops.  But I'm morally bound to try them and perhaps endure explosive poops for you, my readers.)

However, I recently received a product review request that sent me over the moon with happiness.

Remember three years ago, I told you guys about a "Nice Jewish Guys" calendar featuring --- you guessed it --- nice Jewish guys gracing each month's pages?  Back then, I thought the idea of a calendar featuring nebbishy Jewish men was an absolutely hilarious idea and a great gift for Jewish girls (or other Jewish boy-loving people) on your list.

Well, the people in charge of marketing this calendar contacted me last month and offered me a 2014 Nice Jewish Guys calendar of my very own!  Now THIS is right up my alley.

Having carefully reviewed this calendar, I can now give it my hearty endorsement.  The calendar is chock-full of awesome photos of very Jewish-looking guys, some of whom are doing very Jewishy things.

Kristopher is responsibly paying for his parking!

Roe is holding a mother-flipping CHALLAH!

Brendan is making matzo brie like your dad used to make during Channukah!

Jason is --- posed in a very unfortunate manner, but WHO DOESN'T LOVE KOSHER HOT DOGS IN NEW YORK?

I brought this thing to my weekly poker night and it garnered rave reviews from the guys in attendance:

"Those are some Jewish-looking dudes."

"Yes, they are very Jewy."

"That's a great-looking challah."

"I can't take my eyes off that challah."

"Saddle up, Jewish ladies!  This guy likes knish."

This calendar is a laugh a minute (or, more accurately, a month), and even includes all of the Jewish holidays.  Even the obscure ones that nobody celebrates!  ("Fast of the 17th of Tammuz," anyone?)  

I even had the chance to interview one of the JDate.com-sponsored Jewish guys featured at the back of the calendar, Sam.

Here are some highlights:

How did you become involved in the Nice Jewish Guys Calendar?  What was your first thought upon learning about the calendar?

I saw the contest on JDate and talked about it with my sister and a female friend of mine.  After some encouragement from them and reading some of the other entries, I decided to submit an entry for fun.  After I was told I was selected as one of the Nice Jewish Guys of JDate, I didn’t really know what form my inclusion in the calendar would take until a friend of mine called from work saying, “I’m looking at the Nice Jewish Guys calendar with you in it!”

What makes you a "nice" Jewish guy?

Living with values and morals adopted and refined from my Jewish upbringing and military service is why those in my life consider me a “Nice Jewish Guy.”  I see myself as someone who lives a life of integrity, candor, selfless service, respect and courage – all qualities which make me stand out in the crowd.

What is your favorite Jewish food?

This question is like asking a parent to admit which child is their favorite.  Pastrami, knishes, matzoh ball soup, cholent, challah, Israeli salad and falafel are all great. However, I think that the true mark of Jewish food is the effort we put in to getting it right. I come from a family of kosher butchers so it’s no surprise that while I was stationed overseas I had hard salami and beef frye sent to me regularly. The greatest effort I’ve exerted so far was for great kosher dill pickles.  Earlier this year I tore out four trees (roots and all) from my father's backyard so that I could grow cucumbers and dill to make my own homemade dill pickles. They were not only my favorite, but the favorites of everyone who tried them.

Best Jew-y childhood memory?

I think my best Jew-y childhood memories all stem from being invited over to friends’ houses for Shabbos. Even though most of them were observant, which meant no TV and going to more services than I may have liked, I associate those memories of Shabbos with great food, acceptance and warmness, which I consider true characteristics of Judaism.

Describe your ideal woman.

My ideal woman would come in part from my interpretation of Immanuel Kant's Observations on the Feeling of the Beautiful and Sublime. I am in pursuit of the sublime over the beautiful. To me the sublime encompasses the truly important, lasting things such as genuine kindness, sweetness, smarts, critical thinking, affection, a nurturing demeanor and natural beauty over fleeting and superficial beauty.

What do you most wish you could change about Jewish girls?

I'd first like to say that I would never want to change anybody.  Everybody has the right to live their life the way they see fit as long it doesn't infringe on those rights of others.  In love, the right person is going to be perfect, flaws and all. 

That being said the thing I don't like about Jewish girls, or guys for that matter, are those who live up to negative Jewish stereotypes.  Despite my name, many people are surprised to find out that I'm Jewish.  I think the reason is that I don't fit many of the typical Jewish stereotypes. When a girl lives up to the negative stereotypes such as being whiny, overbearing and having a sense of entitlement like the clich├ęs of a Jewish-American princess, I am immediately turned off.

Has your recent calendar celebrity yielded any interesting romantic offers?

Not yet.  I think the Shiksas in my life love the "celebrity" status the most.  The calendar has been a hit with family, friends, army buddies and people at the gym. When I walk into the gym I am greeted as the “Nice Jewish Guy.”  Friends have jokingly wondered how long it would take for me to be a pinup.  Every time I go to an LA Galaxy game,my season ticket holder neighbor requests a signed copy of the calendar. However, I would be surprised if the calendar "notoriety" would lead to any “interesting romantic offers,” even if it was posted at every synagogue and sent to every Jewish mother and grandmother.

What's your best Nice Jewish Guy advice for winning over Jewish mothers? 

Just be genuine and honest in addition to all the other qualities of being a nice guy.  If you have to be flashy or go on a charm offensive, it's probably not worth the effort for a number of reasons.  I have had a few instances where the parents were more charmed by me than the girl I was courting.  


Don't you just wish you could have a calendar of your very own, to love and cherish for as long as you both shall live?  (i.e., for the duration of 2014?)

Well, you CAN, because I have an extra copy to give away!

To win, leave a comment on this entry with your funniest story about dating a Nice Jewish Guy.  (You can fictionalize an account if you have no real-life experience on which to base this.)  You can also tweet about this giveaway for an extra entry.  One winner will be randomly selected, although I will post the best stories when I announce the winner next week!

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Tuesday, November 5, 2013

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