Thursday, November 8, 2012

Lessons in Distraction: Hiding a Muffin Top

I'm at that awkward point of weight gain where almost all of my clothes still fit, but a few of the bellwether items (e.g., the jeans that fit me just right at a normal weight) have started to show signs of distress. I don't want to gain any more weight than I have and I'm slowly working my way down, but in the meantime some of my clothes are a bit less versatile than they once were.

For example, these jeans:

Back in my fitter days, I could wear these low-rise babies with my choice of top. My closet was my oyster. Now, sadly, I experience a little bit of this situation:

So, my formula for drawing attention away from my sweet, sweet muffin top?

In this Outfit:
Style & Co. Blazer (Macy's) (M) (here in plus sizes) (similar for $40)
J.Crew Rugby Stripe Boatneck Top in Modern Red (XL, very big on me.  I'm usually a M in J.Crew Sweaters and a L would have been more appropriate for a slouchy look) (here) (last worn here)
Old Navy Printed Flats (9, TTS) (here)
Kate Spade "It Takes All Sorts" Necklace (similar-ish for $23)
Kate Spade Square Rhinestone Earrings (similar in shape, similar in color, similar not by Kate Spade for $16)
Michael Kors Davenport Chronograph Watch (here)
Kate Spade Dictionary Clutch (here)

1. Loose top. (Obvy.)
2. Tailored outer layer. (I am not a plebian.)
3. Cute patterned shoes and clutch to focus attention on my accessories.

I guess the best way to handle the muffin top would be to get rid of it, but where's the fun in that?

(Incidentally, I wore this outfit to see the movie "The Sessions," which is about a severely disabled man who hires a "sex surrogate" to provide sex therapy by having sex with him. Bizarre, but it's very highly rated on Rotten Tomatoes. Have you seen it? What did you think? I'm still processing it, but mostly it made me feel very awkward.)

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