Friday, October 28, 2011

Friday Funday: Frighteningly Sexy

What is it about Halloween that inspires so many "sexy" costumes for women?  While most male costumes seem either funny or scary, female costumes skew decisively towards the revealing.

My favorite part about shopping for Halloween costumes each year is viewing a fresh crop of Sexy-Gone-Wild outfits.  By this I don't mean the costumes that are particularly titillating, but rather the pieces that make you think, "Really?  Are we calling this sexy now?"

Here are a few of my favorites this year:

1.  Sexy Unsexy Animals

I fail to even see the innuendo here.  Sure, a shark will "eat" you, but they will literally tear you into shreds and devour you.  Moreover, sharks have very sharp teeth and probably smell fishy.  Someone help me on this one?  Or am I over-thinking this and we're just supposed to focus on her butt?

Again, color me confused.  Sexy = spraying a stinky liquid and running away?  Do we have such an accurate a low opinion of one night stands?

2.  Sexy Disturbed Entities

This feels like an affront to the entire Zombie industry.

I think the only thing sexier than painful dismemberment is anything except painful dismemberment.

This costume is called "Anita Sedative."  Get it?  Yes, involuntary sedation of the mentally ill is pun-worthy now.

Who doesn't love a bit of military-sponsored genocide?  What's that you say?  Nobody likes that?  You are correct.  
(Thanks for the joke structure, Tina Fey)

3.  Sexy Food Products
(do men dress up as anything but bananas and beers?)

4.  Miscellaneous Sexy Inanimate Objects

Because there's NOTHING sexier than a 17% interest rate!  She's a grower, not a shower!  ...Wait a minute.

Extra filthy dirty.

Every caption I came up with for this costume was horrifically inappropriate and involved variations of "frigid," "wet," and "orifice."  Mix and match these terms to make your own description and save me the hate mail!

Sure, hook up with her, but you're just going to be horny again an hour later.

Have you spotted any completely off-the-wall "sexy" costumes this year? 

On that note, what are you dressing up as this Halloween?  Anything from the list above?  I think I'll be a sexy roulette table!

1 comment:

Courtney said...

OH MY GOD Everyone must read this. I am dying laughing here. This is amazing!!! I laughed the hardest at Sexy Texas Chainsaw Massacre-er for some reason. I don't know. This post made my Halloween. Even after Halloween.

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